The more things change, the more they stay the same…no wait, that’s bullshit. I call BULLSHIT!
I really don’t like when things change for unnecessary reasons. Especially when whatever program, software or corporation makes it too obvious that they’re doing it just to get money. I don’t like how WordPress is so hard to use these days. It’s like you need a freakin’ degree or something to make a simple post. It’s ridiculous! Did you know that once upon a time, Photoshop was a program you could buy, just once, and own for years til you really needed to upgrade? Most times you didn’t need the upgrade. Even my local transit app is charging subscription fees for extra information and features. GTFO!
I find that the more I unmask my ADHD in real life, the less able I am to handle these kinds of changes. It makes me really…frustrated…to do the things I used to take for granted. Even just sitting at my computer makes me get flustered. I can’t seem to get the setup right. I can’t appreciate the tech I have. It’s perfectly fine, it’ll get the jobs done that I want done. But I’m uncomfortable. And I’m so aware now of my needs that if I can’t meet them, I end up getting paralyzed on the couch and doing nothing. I really don’t like it.
Well I’m still here though. And still trying. I’ll keep trying. It’s what I do. It’s in my blood, to keep trying, keep going. I’m like that cockroach that you can squish to a quarter of its height, and it gets up and keeps moving. Or you might bite my head off, but I’ll still keep going. Just longer than their week or so expected life once headless. Ya.
So I’m gonna try to do more art. I have the time. I’ve rid myself of that excuse of not having time and opportunity. I’m a bit…lonesome? Not having the best days of my life for the last six years. But I’m still here. And still trying.
I love my art. It just stings when I make it, and share it, and no one loves it back, ya know? I gotta work through that. I am working through that.
Happy Valentine’s Day.