As promised, here is the new artwork from the Daz Studio program. Hope you enjoy!
New Artwork – Daz Studio Update
Daz Studio Update
I did it! I got my new computer! Sure, I had to go into debt for it…and I’m definitely going to be overpaying for the system. But it WORKS! AND…it lets me use Daz Studio!
Remember when I hated on Daz Studio? Those days aren’t far behind me…it’s a hard program to learn. They do things differently in there, the UI is awful and the directories are hard to memorize and understand. Somehow I have three different libraries, and not organized libraries like in my Poser program. In Poser I was able to make custom libraries; I had one for adult poses and products, two for girls, two for boys, just for the characters, mind you. I had two clothes libraries, two pose libraries. I liked keeping the products nicely organized, so I didn’t have to do a lot of scrolling, and so that when I wanted something, I just went and got it.
Daz doesn’t seem to allow me to do that…yet. I’m sure there’s some way. I’ll find it. And I’ll reorganize everything, some day. For now, I’m trying to learn the program. And it’s going well. I ‘hate’ it, still. I probably always will. It’s this new perception people have, where everything is corporate, why fight the system, just accept it… “Just take it,” whispered softly by a horny and raspy voice with deep bass, into your ears, while it steals your money…
Anyway, I’m going to throw up a few images of what I’ve done in the next post. I’m reworking my Canadian Beaver story. The last update posted at Metrobay Comix, W.I.-L.O. and the gang were going back to the past. But Ubique was tagging along! So now they’re in a brand new universe/dimension. Is it because Willow used nefarious means to get there in the first place, when she was being controlled by the villainess? Or did the trip back home fail because of Ubique jumping into a timeline she was never supposed to be in? You know, they say you can’t exist in multiple universes at the same time. Some theories say that the same ‘thing’ can’t occupy the same space, so if you tried, you could cause the world to, well, explode! Or blow up or something! So maybe that’s what happened. I dunno.
I’m trying to be more organized and professional with the story. I’m trying to plot things out, do some writing beforehand. Usually I wing it. Well if I’m debuting a new story, and using a better program and computer, it’s time to up my game across the board.
Oh also?
New computer?
…plays Star Citizen like a fucking dream…just saying…
New Artwork New Self
So I made a thingy. A girly girl. My avatar of course. But this one I call DireBat!
See, I’ve been pretty consistent with my Metrobay Comics series. Sometimes I’m late or I have had to miss a monthly update. I never enjoy doing that. I don’t get a great deal of feedback there except from one of the admins, he’s very sweet to me. Well both are, everyone there is nice, in fact. If you haven’t found them on Discord, then I dunno what to tell ya! Anyway, anyone who knows me knows I struggle without feedback. It’s not so much that I thrive on validation as it is I thrive on dopamine. I’m an adult diagnosed ADHD, as well as some other really interesting Ds. Like one chick said to me, “I’ve got all the Ds except the one D I want!” Bwhahahaha! Neurodivergents. We are awesome.
So I’m trying to entertain myself with my art. I used to LOVE being in love online, and enjoyed making pics for people, especially of my characters in online games like World of Warcraft. But before WoW, before Everquest (the original!), there was Yahoo! Groups. And we roleplayed in those hard. Like, so hard. And that got me hot for adult roleplay pretty quickly.
Recently a family member who is very dear to me lashed out against me and my behaviours online. To be clear, I haven’t had anyone to play with like that for FOREVER! I really miss it, but I’ve been pretty busy in real life trying to sustain myself and my cute little family. We’re making it. Not thriving quite yet but soon. I’m too busy to really ‘fall in love’ if you will, with a nice sweet boy online. So anyway, this family member seemed pretty confused about some events that occurred about…twelve years ago now? Whatever. She’s allowed to have her pain. And it’s not my job to correct her narrative. I know my truth, cuz I was kinda there. And anyone who knows me knows I’m pretty damned transparent. To a fault. Gives me grief in real life at work, when some hoodlum wants me to be all ‘cool’ and secretive and I’m like, “uh no, hold on, calling da cops!” I can often be a Karen cuz of my need for transparency and to have things above board, all out on the table. Again, it’s a common ADHD thing.
Anyway, rambling. But that conversation with my family member really…stirred me up. Not in that I am suddenly having guilt. No, not at all. Probably the opposite…? I feel like I want to return to something I’ve lost over these long years, over this decade of divorce and division.
I used to be a sexual being. Since the baby (he’s 6yrs old, by the way!), I’ve been afraid of sex. And not just real life sex – I’ve been fearful of that cuz sex (even the protected kind!) = babies = near death experiences = no thank you! Online too, I’ve been avoiding sexual situations. I’ve been afraid of who I was, because people in real life made it out like I was bad.
I’m not bad. Since 1999, I have struggled with that thought, that my sexuality causes people to feel things, and that therefore I am responsible for their feelings. For the consequences of their feelings. For their hearts when they inevitably break.
I’m not. I’m not responsible for their hearts or their pain. I never lied. I don’t do that. And I break too. But my broken heart is on me, always on me. Sure, people can be real dicks sometimes. But getting hurt and getting broken, that’s on me. If someone is a dirty penis, I need to walk away. That’s up to me. I’ve never really been the revenge type. I tried it once, it failed horribly in that it succeeded soooo righteously. Ugh! XD But no, people online who have broken me, I’ve used what authorities and resources were available in whatever medium, and then left the scene.
Cuz that’s what we do. We don’t lash out. What’s the point? How does that make me bigger or better than anyone else? It sure doesn’t. How does that stop my pain? Sure doesn’t. And sure, knowing someone else is hurting as much as I might be does make my dark little heart pitter patter…but that’s not the real me. That’s a result of childhood trauma, neurodivergence, etc., etc., etc. The real me cares. Always. That’s why people ‘fall in love’ with me. Because so often, I attract people who need caring. And I give it, cuz hey, I love it!
I miss adult roleplay. I miss making art that makes ME wet. I miss making art for individual boys – and sometimes girls! – online that rocks them, that sticks with them, that hits them hard. I like hard…
I wanna be more me. I’m setting up my real life to let me be more me. It’s showing some results. Someone tried to seduce me a week or so ago. Me?? Like….me?? Someone asked to go for drinks. Someone gave me ‘the look’. I tend to drop the ball, or have for the last four years or so. But…now I want to play. I want to take that ball and own that friggin’ court. Like I used to.
I dunno where I’ll go with this urge. I dunno what game to play, since WoW is so politically and morally fucked, and the other games that have come out can’t compete with the world Blizzard created for me. But I can write for me. And I can make art for me. Art like this.
I hope you like it…I sure do. It’s like…masturbation worthy, mmm…
My Heart Needed Justice
And Justice League: Snyder Cut friggin’ delivered!
I wept, I sobbed, there were tears, there were laughs. I pointed emphatically at every new thing I saw. I’m even watching it right now on Crave.ca as we speak!
I couldn’t help it, but at least I waited until now to look up the easter eggs! I intend to watch this movie as much as possible. It had me from the very beginning. This movie puts things right.
Superman – he was an INTERNATIONAL WORLD WIDE hero! EVERYONE was mourning when he died. And his screams echoing across realms? Damned straight!
The Flash – this movie made me see he’s more than just a clumsy awkward kid. The part with the puppies and with Iris. Yes, yes yes! He’s very smart, and his heart is in the right place, not because he’s naive but out of choice. Also the way he defended the people from the falling debris, now THAT was done in a flash! pun pun!
Aquaman – Not gonna mention Mera’s name except this once (so jealous of her, ugh!) but the movie made Arthur more human. He actually cared about Cyborg, rather than just being a machine hating dick like he came across in the other. And we get to see a great interaction between him and the Flash. Love that part! PLUS he took his shirt off sooooo many times. I kept thinking, well clearly he doesn’t need a shirt underwater – but why not the pants, then? Muahahahahaha!
Cyborg – he always seemed to be angry but now we get a depth to it. His momma was in the accident with him. He has to see his own gravestone when he visits hers. And we get a good speech about the intensity of his gifts, their omnipotent power. I wouldn’t want to make this Arthur angry. But don’t forget what he does for the lil lady and her family. See? We got depth now!
Batman – see, I think Ben Affleck as Batman was the sexiest of them all. I love that we saw him almost/completely? shirtless in the theatrical (I also love how we don’t call the first released movie an ‘original’ but just the theatrical). I love all the lil things we see of him around the world, like sponsoring the GCU sign at the football game. We see his philanthropy and I do so love that. We see his need to bring the group together even more in this version, and Alfred is right there on his heels. And since we don’t have the ‘get the big guns’ comment from Bruce, we can see him as less manipulative now. And I love his gauntlets, how they demonstrate he adapts and learns from his peers. Very nice!
Wonderwoman – love love LOVE her response to the bank bombers! See, we lost some of that fight in the theatrical. But now we get to see her in action. The fight is fast, precise, and realistic, at least to a moviegoer like me. And I have to wonder – couldn’t tell cuz the first viewing, I had background noise from the fam – was the black haired girl caught under the horse Diana’s sister or something? It kinda felt like she was special but I’m not sure who she was. And seeing her momma in the clothing, shooting the arrow, seeing Diana actually in the crypt and learning the Darkseid story. Yes please! That was very in depth and needed.
Darkseid – love Darkseid and love knowing he predates Thanos! Take that, Marvel!
Parademons – we didn’t get that whole ‘attracted to fear’ crap from the other film. Take note of the Amazons saying “We have no fear!” The fear thing just wasn’t part of this movie, and I like that. The Parademons seemed more intelligent, less like flying monkey men with bug eyes. I appreciate them more now.
Joker – oh I love Jared Leto’s Joker. Fuck y’all who don’t get him/it! Joker is always sexy, always awesome, no matter who plays him. You would have to be truly bad at acting to portray a poor joker. No matter if he’s a destitute freak with mommy issues or a madman made from a barrel of chemicals – I loves me some Joker. And this one, with the red and bloodied lips, and the ‘reach around’ comment. Hells yes! Let’s see more of THAT! “I’m your best friend!”
And now….
DeSaad – the best addition to the movie. He didn’t get to do or say too much but I went in depth to learn about him, online. And yes, he was indeed inspired by my lovely Marquis de Sade. He’s a master torturer – of course! He speaks with distain – of course! And he even has a henchwoman named Justeen, after the Marsquis’ infamous book, Justine. Oh DC, I am certain your D stands for DARKNESS! Hope to see more of DeSaad in the future! I know he showed up in comics and shows a lot but…I wanna see him in the movies!
Now, I know Joss Whedon is a great director and movie producer type. He really is, no doubt about it. I enjoyed the ‘theatrical’ version, I truly did. But this version? We needed this.
Did you know that Zack Snyder had to leave the other version because his daughter committed suicide? It’s a fact. The end credits say “For Autumn.” That was her name. And she was a writer. She wrote a lil novel that may one day see its way onto the screen, movie gods willing. If it was good enough to make her parents weep upon reading, then it’s good enough for me.
To contribute to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention please see the Snyder family’s GoFundMe.com site.
To read more of the easter eggs and treats this version brings, or to contribute your own to the growing list!, please visit Vulture.com’s “Every Single Easter Egg in Zack Snyder’s Justice League.” I really enjoyed this read and hope to revisit often, as more people add their info!