BalthazarBludd and the Lily of the Valley

I feel for some reason like that’d make a great story…hrm…Anyway!

Here’s a lovely space based image by my new friend BalthazarBludd who is also an artist at the Metrobay Comix site and universe! I like it. Maybe cuz I see myself as a lily of a sort *purrs*

“OMG, a Lily of the Valley! Now…how the fel do I get it out of this bubble??”

See, look at me! I’m posting more regularly! Woop woop!

It’s Been Awhile

So I’ll just leave this here…

It’s Been Awhile – Staind

And it’s been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it’s been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it’s been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it’s been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can’t remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that are rendered
I’ve stretched myself beyond my means

And it’s been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn’t addicted
And it’s been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well and
And it’s been awhile
Since I’ve gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it’s been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I’m with you

And everything I can’t remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I’ve rendered
I’ve gone and fucked things up again, again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day

And it’s been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it’s been awhile
Since I said I’m sorry
And it’s been awhile
Since I’ve seen the way the candles light your face
And it’s been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can’t remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be, and I know it’s me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it’s been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it’s been awhile
Since I said I’m sorry

Poems from 2011

Oh I remember these. Damn, what lust and fun I had… My heart broke so many times but I have to say, I have never been so inspired, since then. Hope you enjoy the throwbacks!

Can You Breathe?

Can you breathe?
A kiss on your lips,
Breathe stolen,
Dreams changed,
World burning,
Can you breathe?
Flesh on fire,
Hearts igniting,
Passions stirred, tried and tested,
Fingers that lay waste,
Wetness dripping like a candle,
Dancing flame,
Dancing tongue,
Rigid shaft,
Deep head,
Deep into me,
Can you breathe?
Lungs bursting,
The screams keep coming,
Nerves lit like an altar,
A temple,
Doors open wide,
But such a tight entry,
Can you breathe?
No hesitation,
Simple surrender,
Tears of pure bliss,
Intertwined fantasies,
Adventurous deeds,
Can you breathe?
Touch her there,
With this finger,
Move him there,
With this hand,
Dolls,
Placed just so for delightful viewing,
Can you breathe?
Steal you away,
Chain you from the days,
Until permitted,
I can’t breathe.

Can you feel the fire,
Burning in my skin,
It starts where you bit me,
And then circles around within,
It curls up in my belly,
It dances around my heart,
Waiting there for more kisses,
More fire waiting to start,
Can you feel the water,
The wetness you cause to flow?
I once knew tears so desperate,
I could not let them go,
Now I simply rain for you,
Dripping down my sides,
It no longer matters the tribute paid,
The lonely tears I’ve cried,
Can you hear the laughter?
Every humorous tale you tell,
And as you welcome me every morning,
My insecurities do you quell,
I cannot fight the fever,
Would never dare to try,
Because there is only laughter,
And no more reason to cry,
I would not ask for anything more,
Just everything that you are

Epic Poem/Song
She turned to taste his lips so wet,
And whispered, “Can’t you see?”
“This is where you truly belong,
Lost in love with me,”
All the world a warrior’s playground,
Dirges for all the dead,
But still he held her in his arms,
Took the lady to his bed,
Fields of grass, forests of trees,
Leaves falling all around,
He took her to the waterfalls,
And laid her on the ground,
She brought him to the holy temple,
Knelt with him in prayer,
He kissed her neck, tickled her lips,
She tugged and tore at his hair,
Fires igniting like candles,
Flesh dripping down the hill,
Others woke to adventure,
And so many woke to kill,
But she woke to feel the wonder,
The pleasure that was him,
And he woke to share his laughter,
And the delicious taste of skin,
He held her after so much travel,
Gripped her in his hands,
She pressed against him, staring at him,
And bent to make him a man,
“My lips have kissed a dozen,
My body caught the seed,
My heart has loved too many,
I’ve given into and had such greed,”
He did not care for history,
He hushed her lips with his,
“All I know is that you’re mine now,
And all we need is this,”
Hands about her waist,
He held her firm and strong,
She brought him to ecstatic heights,
Their travels short or long,
But always with each other,
Never far apart,
Bending to the faithless world,
But always true in the heart,
He sucked the essence of motherhood,
Sweetness against his tongue,
She lapped at the wound she made on his neck,
Until all the bleeding was done,
Looking into his eyes,
And hearing him say her name,
He could not fathom the depths of green,
The tears that fell like rain,
But with tender arms around her,
He quelled the deepest fear,
“I had a dream, it was so beautiful, but then, you were not here,”
A simple smile to remind her,
Never could this be true,
“I will not walk away from this,
Because I’m in love with all we do,
Can’t you feel it in my fingers,
As they dance across your skin?
I feel it every time we kiss,
Each time you let me in,”
In the light of his pleasure,
With evidence in her punctured flesh,
She knew to trust him fully,
He knew for both what was best,
And she let him hold her completely,
“Remember this is truth,
I am yours for the rest of this life,
And I belong only to you,”

Just a taste,
Break the skin,
The puncture wounds deep,
The blood flows,
You drink,
I become your food,
Eaten piece by piece,
Devoured limb by limb,
Made whole again in your dream,
In your eyes,
Formed perfectly for your hands,
My breath stolen,
My skin on fire,
Your hands running all over my flesh,
No secrets,
No hidden desires,
Everything written on the surface,
Nothing but passion stirring beneath,
I struggle to perform,
Simply because the fires burn,
And I ache to burn like that,
For you,
Dancing before you like a candle,
Dripping down my sides like wax,
Your tongue tasting,
My wants are leaking,
And you’re scooping them up,
Great handfuls of me,
Pressing me to your mouth,
Exhausting my senses,
How much can I take?
How much can I make?
Rebuilding what we knew separately,
Bringing together what we now know,
What we’ve learned,
Hearts can love gently,
Souls can meet and touch and part,
It need not be eternal,
It needs only be a moment,
A candle’s lifetime,
Slow and sensual burning

The deep flowing agony of tears,
Ceaseless pain founded in fears,
All that comes again just to cry,
Slowly hearts fail, falter and die,
Then this brightness, like a gem,
No legendary creature…just him,
Lips that hunger for the taste of blood,
Making everything forbidden good,
Drums beat out the simple beat,
When lips give in and lovers meet,
Hands strike hard reaching to hold,
Warming bodies left too long cold,
In his hands, fires instantly ignite,
In his arms the darkness is light,
In his eyes, no troubles there,
In his kiss, unspoken prayer,

My Heart Needed Justice

And Justice League: Snyder Cut friggin’ delivered!

I wept, I sobbed, there were tears, there were laughs. I pointed emphatically at every new thing I saw. I’m even watching it right now on Crave.ca as we speak!

I couldn’t help it, but at least I waited until now to look up the easter eggs! I intend to watch this movie as much as possible. It had me from the very beginning. This movie puts things right.

Superman – he was an INTERNATIONAL WORLD WIDE hero! EVERYONE was mourning when he died. And his screams echoing across realms? Damned straight!

The Flash – this movie made me see he’s more than just a clumsy awkward kid. The part with the puppies and with Iris. Yes, yes yes! He’s very smart, and his heart is in the right place, not because he’s naive but out of choice. Also the way he defended the people from the falling debris, now THAT was done in a flash! pun pun!

Aquaman – Not gonna mention Mera’s name except this once (so jealous of her, ugh!) but the movie made Arthur more human. He actually cared about Cyborg, rather than just being a machine hating dick like he came across in the other. And we get to see a great interaction between him and the Flash. Love that part! PLUS he took his shirt off sooooo many times. I kept thinking, well clearly he doesn’t need a shirt underwater – but why not the pants, then? Muahahahahaha!

Cyborg – he always seemed to be angry but now we get a depth to it. His momma was in the accident with him. He has to see his own gravestone when he visits hers. And we get a good speech about the intensity of his gifts, their omnipotent power. I wouldn’t want to make this Arthur angry. But don’t forget what he does for the lil lady and her family. See? We got depth now!

Batman – see, I think Ben Affleck as Batman was the sexiest of them all. I love that we saw him almost/completely? shirtless in the theatrical (I also love how we don’t call the first released movie an ‘original’ but just the theatrical). I love all the lil things we see of him around the world, like sponsoring the GCU sign at the football game. We see his philanthropy and I do so love that. We see his need to bring the group together even more in this version, and Alfred is right there on his heels. And since we don’t have the ‘get the big guns’ comment from Bruce, we can see him as less manipulative now. And I love his gauntlets, how they demonstrate he adapts and learns from his peers. Very nice!

Wonderwoman – love love LOVE her response to the bank bombers! See, we lost some of that fight in the theatrical. But now we get to see her in action. The fight is fast, precise, and realistic, at least to a moviegoer like me. And I have to wonder – couldn’t tell cuz the first viewing, I had background noise from the fam – was the black haired girl caught under the horse Diana’s sister or something? It kinda felt like she was special but I’m not sure who she was. And seeing her momma in the clothing, shooting the arrow, seeing Diana actually in the crypt and learning the Darkseid story. Yes please! That was very in depth and needed.

Darkseid – love Darkseid and love knowing he predates Thanos! Take that, Marvel!

Parademons – we didn’t get that whole ‘attracted to fear’ crap from the other film. Take note of the Amazons saying “We have no fear!” The fear thing just wasn’t part of this movie, and I like that. The Parademons seemed more intelligent, less like flying monkey men with bug eyes. I appreciate them more now.

Joker – oh I love Jared Leto’s Joker. Fuck y’all who don’t get him/it! Joker is always sexy, always awesome, no matter who plays him. You would have to be truly bad at acting to portray a poor joker. No matter if he’s a destitute freak with mommy issues or a madman made from a barrel of chemicals – I loves me some Joker. And this one, with the red and bloodied lips, and the ‘reach around’ comment. Hells yes! Let’s see more of THAT! “I’m your best friend!”

And now….

DeSaad – the best addition to the movie. He didn’t get to do or say too much but I went in depth to learn about him, online. And yes, he was indeed inspired by my lovely Marquis de Sade. He’s a master torturer – of course! He speaks with distain – of course! And he even has a henchwoman named Justeen, after the Marsquis’ infamous book, Justine. Oh DC, I am certain your D stands for DARKNESS! Hope to see more of DeSaad in the future! I know he showed up in comics and shows a lot but…I wanna see him in the movies!

Now, I know Joss Whedon is a great director and movie producer type. He really is, no doubt about it. I enjoyed the ‘theatrical’ version, I truly did. But this version? We needed this.

Did you know that Zack Snyder had to leave the other version because his daughter committed suicide? It’s a fact. The end credits say “For Autumn.” That was her name. And she was a writer. She wrote a lil novel that may one day see its way onto the screen, movie gods willing. If it was good enough to make her parents weep upon reading, then it’s good enough for me.

To contribute to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention please see the Snyder family’s GoFundMe.com site.

To read more of the easter eggs and treats this version brings, or to contribute your own to the growing list!, please visit Vulture.com’s “Every Single Easter Egg in Zack Snyder’s Justice League.” I really enjoyed this read and hope to revisit often, as more people add their info!

That’s All I Can Stands

an’ I can’t stands no more! – Popeye

That’s it. I’ve had it. I’m gonna do it. But why does it feel like I’m choosing to like, try some new drug or contemplate how to kill myself??

What is it? It’s me. Choosing to use Daz fucking Studio.

I see their pictures. I see the work they do. And I know I could do the same. I could maybe even do better.

And one of my favourite artists, Studio AD, made the switch. I was sure he never would but he did. And he’s fine with it. The switch was pretty easy for him.

So. I guess it’s my turn. This is me, downloading “Daz Central” right now. Even saying that, typing that, makes me friggin’ cringe. Ugh!

The reason I despise Daz so much is because they are like drug dealers. They created this amazing figure, namely Victoria 4, that I spent honestly thousands of dollars on getting content for over the last what, decade?? Then they upgraded her several times, but no one bit. Cuz we all loved V4 so much – and still do! But then they made another amazing figure named Genesis 3. And…if you were smart, you could get that to work in your Poser program, the program I use.

Then…they made Genesis 8….and it’s fucking amazing.

But they didn’t make it work in Poser.

Could they have? Damned straight. How do I know? Because MANY merchants at Renderosity.com make content that fits both V4 AND G8F (Genesis 8 female). So if a merchant can do it, Daz could have too, with all their tech and coders and the like. But you see, Daz decided they wanted their own 3D program. And though it takes V4, they wanted to corner the market. They made it so that if you wanted to use G8 series, you had to use it in Daz Studio.

Daz Studio itself is free. So is Genesis. But…content? And the learning curve? Harsh.

I invested in Victoria. I made my avatar, all my favourite WoW OCs, all my sexy times. I used V4. I could and do still use her! So why do I need to use G8 anyway?

Because. This.

And this.

This.

This…*drools*…

OMG THIS!

This!

See what I mean? Do you SEE? Imagine if ~I~ had these characters? Imagine the sexiness I could make?!?! I ought to be playing with this hotness!

*gulps*…nuff said. Finishing installation…

Me a week ago
Me today…*sigh*

Creepy Pasta and Chilling Tales for Dark Nights

Well well! Lucky you! Two posts from me in ONE day!

This one is about writing, writing and more writing. Because of Covid-19 restrictions and safety protocols, I kind of gave up my spot where I was doing healing massage and energy work. They considered me a health care service, but while I do heal with people, I am covered under provincial ‘personal care’ services like nail salons and spas. We also had a conflict with a client…er friend…er, see, I got them confused even here! Things went south fast when I didn’t offer her the service she wanted, and so…yeah, just didn’t want to hang around there. If she needs that space to feel safe, then whatevs, I have my space inside of me!

Anyway! Babbling! So I have childcare every week day and am doing more and more art and slowly getting back into writing. Now the way I used to while away my hour long busride to work was listening to horror podcasts – specifically Chilling Tales for Dark Nights which is part of the Simply Scary Podcasts! Oh I love me some Jason Hill from Horror Hill….deeeelicious voice…He can hide under my bed any day, mmmm! Though he may not be allowed to leave, especially if he starts using those seductive tones of his!

Distracting! I want to submit stories to their site. I went to their Chilling Tales for Dark Nights Submissions – which actually takes you to the Creepy Pasta Submissions page – and found a whole bunch of scary stories categories. Well you know me, why do things the easy way? I have decided I shall fulfill each of the categories with a story. I’m gonna treat their category list like a sort of personal challenge for writing. Here’s the list:

Abductions and Kidnappings – strangers have the best candy
Animals and Wildlife – oh yes please
Apocalyptic and Dystopian – love it
Artifacts and Objects
Based on True Events – *coughs* Cecil Hotel *coughs*
Beings and Entities
Body Horror
Children and Childhood
Christmas and Holidays
Classic Horror
Conspiracies and Government – boy do I ever!
Creepypasta Classics
Dark Comedy, Humor, and Parodies – I can do humor, too, you know
Dark Fantasy – death from above, dragons reign!
Deaths, Murders, and Disappearances – Cecil Hotel, ammirite??
Demons and Possession
Dreams and Nightmares
Drugs and Addictions – Cecil Hotel…just sayin’
Feelspastas and Happy Endings – hrm….this one might give me difficulty…
Films and Footage
Folklore and Folktales
Ghosts and Spirits
Halloween Stories
Hell and the Afterlife – deeeeemons rising!!
Historical Fiction
Illness and Injuries
Insects, Spiders, and Parasites
Investigations and Crimes
Jobs and Occupations
Journals and Diaries
Locations and Sites
Madness, Paranoia, and Mental Illness
Medical and Hospitals
Military and Warfare
Monsters, Creatures, and Cryptids
Myths and Legends
Natural Disasters and Storms
Nature and the Outdoors
Occult, Magic, and Witchcraft
Poems and Poetry
Psychological Horror
Religion and Spirituality
Rites and Rituals
Science and Experimentation
Science Fiction and Aliens
Slashers and Gore
Sounds and Voices
Space and Cosmic Horror – Star Wars, Star Trek, LOVE LOVE LOVE! the Grays!
Survival Horror
Suspense and Thrillers
Technology, the Internet, and the Deep Web
Television and Lost Episodes
Torture and Cannibalism
Toys and Dolls
True Scary Stories
Urban Legends – can’t even easily pick a fave here, so many great ones!
Video Games and Gaming
Zombies and the Undead

What I’d love is for you to tell me any ideas YOU come up with that you think `I` might like! You know I love sexy things, and sure, their site isn’t really for erotica like mine. I can tone it down, no worries there. But I do so love scaring people. Oh you thought I was under your bed just for kicks and giggles? Silly munchkin!

Got any story ideas that fit in these? Want to fill me in on Creepy Past Classics? I’m familiar with their site and its impact on the interwebz but what makes it a classic story in the Creepy Past style?

My stories need to be more than 500 words. Feel free to drop a post and say something about what you’d like to see. I know I have my ideas. And yes, I will be sharing them here.

If possible, I hope to soon have my own horror podcast going. I will definitely share with you when I make some more progress. *purrs and blows kisses*